Forty Lines Mediators Can Hang Clothes On: No Really! - Chapter 39 - AAA Handbook on Mediation - 2nd Edition

FORTY LINES MEDIATORS CAN HANG CLOTHES ON: NO REALLY!

Robbie MacPherson

I. Introduction

Mediators need to be able to encourage the parties to participate more fully in mediation and educate them about the process and do it in a way that the parties can immediately use. How mediators do this requires an understanding of human behavior, an ability to empathize, good oral communication skills and a sense of timing.

 

A mediator needs to be able to say exactly the right thing at the right time. If parties could resolve the dispute themselves, they would. They wouldn’t need a mediator. The reason they need a mediator is to motivate them in various ways—to actually listen to the adversary’s complaints and hear what the adversary wants from the mediation; to reexamine their own positions; and, to think about what they need to move on and resume business as usual. They also need a translator—someone who can restate what they say into language the adversary can hear. In addition, they often need to discourage a party from walking out of the mediation.

 

What do mediators actually say to the parties during mediation? I’m not aware of any compilation of mediator “lines.” So, in what may be the first of article of its kind, I offer 40 lines I have used or heard others use over the years to assist parties in getting from mediation what they need, along with an explanation of when to use them and what they have...